Spraying and scrubbing the shower tile is not a chore I relish, and—outside the grout changing color—nothing about the process is reinforcing. I don shabby clothes and smother my face with a dust mask to block out the alkaline fumes of the bleach. I repeatedly smack my knuckles into hard corners and I typically need to use the shower as soon as I’m done cleaning it. Nevertheless, I submit myself to this unpleasant exercise every month because I’m a responsible adult who cares about the cleanliness of his home—also, because my wife tells me to do it.
This past weekend, I was about halfway through my duty when I ran out of cleaner. We use bleach to get rid of mildew buildup, and there were no other bleach-based products in the house to substitute. Were this the bachelor version of myself from five years ago, I would have shrugged, doused the rest of the shower with hot water, and called it a day. But I suppressed my slacker instincts and committed myself to finishing the job. I threw out the bottle, put on respectable clothing, wrote “bleach spray” on our grocery list, and headed out to do the week’s shopping.
As I arrived at the cleaning products aisle in the store, I had the sudden realization that I couldn’t remember which brand of cleaner I was supposed to buy. My mind was briefly awash in the panic that only grocery store shelves can invoke: dozens of products, dozens of price points, dozens of features, all competing to induce me to purchase. I had a vague recollection of the color green being involved on the bottle, so I grabbed a bottle of Lysol “All Purpose Cleaner with Bleach,” thinking that was my brand of choice. Turns out, I was wrong. We actually use Clorox “Cleaner with Bleach,” a product that also has green on the bottle, with some lovely yellow accents. Just like that, I had become the very thing that my marketing brethren fear and detest… a disloyal customer. (more…)